RIGHTS OF PARENTS

It is recorded on authority of Ibn Maja that a man asked the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), “What rights the parents had on their children.” The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) answered, “Both are your Paradise and your Hell.”

Note: So we should always keep in mind that obedience to parents and their service with love, compassion and due courtesy shall be the cause of entry of an individual to Paradise: and the regretful disobedience of parents and affliction of distress on them shall lead the individual to Hell. May Allah protect us from Hell.

Abdullah bin Omar (رضى الله عنه) relates that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: “Allah’s pleasure and approval are in the pleasure and approval of the parents, and Allah’s anger lies in the displeasure of the parents”.

Note: The Hadith under reference elucidates that the best source of earning Allah’s goodwill is to seek the pleasure of one’s parents. Allah’s goodwill is obviously the best blessing, and disobedience of parents & their displeasure deprives an individual of earning Allah’s goodwill. May Allah enable us to take care of our parents in order to earn His goodwill.

Abu Hurayra (رضى الله عنه) said that a man asked the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) “Who had the most priority to good treatment?” The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) replied, “Your mother”

The man asked, “And next to the mother?” The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “Your mother.” “And next again?” asked the man.

“Your mother”, replied the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) once more. “And next”, the man persisted. “Your father”, the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) answered.

Note: It is learnt from the above statement of the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) that service to mother has a precedence over father. At many occasions in the Holy Quran where parents rights & filial service to parents is emphasised, particular attention is invited to the pains & sufferings which the mother bears from pregnancy till milk-feeding period in infancy of the children – as a consequence of which the paradise is stated to be beneath the feet of the mother, as quoted in an other Hadith.

Abu Hurayra (رضى الله عنه) tells us that on one occasion the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) remarked in a trance: “He is humbled, he is humbled, he is humbled!”

The companions (رضى الله عنه) asked, “Who is humbled, O Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) of Allah?” The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) answered, “He who found his/her parents or one of them in old age, and yet did not enter Paradise (by serving them).”

Note: Service to parents is obligatory at every age, particularly so when they grow old and become dependent for most of their normal needs. The Gracious All-Mighty is really much pleased with an individual who takes special care of his/her old parents. If however, an individual doesn’t bother to care for the old parents, he/she is certainly most unlucky to have opted for eternal condemnation in torturous Hell.

We have learnt from Abdullah bin Omar (رضى الله عنه) that a man came to the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), and requested his permission to go on Jihad. The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) asked the man if his parents were alive. The man replied that they were. “Then,” said the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), “Do jihad for them.” (That is, striving to earn for parents and serve them in all that they need is also a form of jihad).

Note: In Hadith under reference the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) has explicitly stated that service to the needy parents is not only equivalent to JIHAD, but ought to be given preference if the parents are your dependents and really need your care.

Mu’aviya bin Jahima reports that his father Jahima (رضى الله عنه) went to the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and said, “It is my intention to go on jihad and I have come to solicit your advice.”

The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) asked him whether his mother was alive. Jahima (رضى الله عنه) replied that she was. “Then keep yourself busy in her service because Paradise lies beneath her feet,” the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) advised.

Note: In this Hadith the Holy Prophet has categorically stated that if an individual’s mother needs service, service to mother ought to be given priority even over the desire of participation in the virtuous deed of optional JIHAD.

Ibn Umar (رضى الله عنه) reports that a man came to the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and said, “I have committed a very great sin and I wonder if it can be forgiven”.

The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) asked, “Have you a mother?” The man answered that he had lost his mother. “Then, is her sister alive?” Asked the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) “She is.” The man said. “Then go and treat her well”, the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) advised.

Note: According to this Hadith, serving the parents, mother in particular, is the best source of seeking salvation & forgiveness of grave sins. If however, the mother is not alive, then one ought to respect & serve mother’s sister for repentance of sins and seeking forgiveness from Allah.

Asma bint Abu Bakr As-Siddiq (رضى الله عنها) narrates: My mother came to me, while she was still a polytheist. I asked the Messenger of Allah, “My mother who is ill-disposed to Islam, has come to visit me. She wants something from me. Shall I show her affection? The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) replied: Yes, be benevolent towards your mother.

Note: The reference quoted above establishes that it is obligatory for a Muslim to treat parents with courtesy & respect even though they may be polytheists or pagans. Their sinful & infidel wishes leading to violation of the basic ordains of Allah must not be however obeyed, but still the treatment metted out to the parents ought to remain most respectful, compassionate & consoling.

Abdullah Bin Umar (رضى الله عنه) states that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “One who desires to be a source of solace for the deceased father in grave, ought to treat his father’s brothers with respect & regard”.

Note: In this particular reference it is advised to show proper respect & care to the father’s brothers as a token of regard for the departed father, while in other Ahadith it is stated that after the death of the parents it is obligatory for the children to pay due regards & care to all close relatives & even friends of both father & mother.

Umar (رضى الله عنه) said that he heard the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) of Allah saying: “The finest act of goodness & virtue is to treat the friends & associates of the late father with affection & regards”.[ Muslim]

Note: This Hadith elaborates that continuation of respectful treatment & good behaviour with father’s friends & acquaintances after the death of father, is reckoned as part of fulfillment of the rights of father.

It is stated by Jabir (رضى الله عنه) that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “Allah blesses an individual with longevity if he/she sincerely serves the parents with due regards & respect.

Note: It may always be kept in mind that faithful obedience to parents fetches Allah’s blessings, inclusive of longevity in the lifespan of the individual, while failure to serve the parents with respect & regards tends to invite the wrath of Allah – thus inviting miseries of death in this world.

Ibn-e-Umar (رضى الله عنه) states that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “Serve your parents with respect; your children shall also serve you with regard, Remain pious in your conduct, your women shall remain faithful to you”.

Note: This Hadith elucidates that respectful treatment & service to your parents shall be immediately responded by similar treatment with you by your children; and unadulterated pious personal conduct fetches faithfulness & sincerity among your family women.

Anas (رضى الله عنه) states that when the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was asked about the grave sins, he (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “(1) Associating partners with Allah. (2) being disobedient & insolent to parents, (3) to kill a human being without justified reason, and (4) to become a false witness to an unwitnessed incident”.

Note: The grave sins quoted in the reference above are listed in the same sequence in another Hadith in Sahih Bokhari as well; which reflects that disobedience of parents is only next to Shirk, (i.e. Association partner with All-Mighty Allah) and is reckoned even more grave than killing a person unlawfully.

Abdullah Ibn-e-Masood (رضى الله عنه) states that in reply to my question as to what act is most pleasing to Allah, the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) replied, “The prayer at its proper time.” I enquired, “What is the next?” The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) remarked, “God treatment afforded to parents”. On further query, the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “Jihad in the way of Allah”.

Note: Service to parents is an act that greatly pleases All-Mighty Allah, and is thus the best way to earn Allah’s goodwill. Allah’s goodwill is indeed the best reward bestowed upon those who serve their parents with humility.

Abu Huraira (رضى الله عنه) reported that the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) had said, “No son can repay for the serve of his father except that if ever he finds him a slave, he buys him, and then gets him emancipated.

Note: We must therefore realise that simple service to the parents is just not enough, but we must always remain prepared to come to their rescue if ever they fall in some serious trouble.

Hadrat Bara (رضى الله عنه) narrates that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “Mother’s sister is (to be treated) like real mother.”

Note: This Hadith advises that mother’s sister ought to be treated with affectionate care & regard like real mother. It is also desired that other similarly close relations of parents as well to be given due respect & care.

Abu Huraira (رضى الله عنه) said that he heard the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) saying: “Of the gates of Paradise, father is the Central Gate. If is now up to you to lose it or to protect it.”

Note: What a reflection of the Benevolence of All-Mighty Allah! It is worth realising that if service to father entitles an individual for entry into Paradise through the Central Gate, indeed much better would be in store for serving mother – who has an acknowledged prior right of service by the children? Indeed highly blessed are those who serve their parents with love& affection.

Abu Huraira (رضى الله عنه) reports that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “At times the status of a devolee is raised in Paradise; and he asks – Oh My Lord, whence is this elevation from? The Lord tells him, “It is on account of the invocation your son has made for you.”

Note: Here we are taught a way to pay back the rights of the departed parents by invoking Allah’s mercy to forgive them. My spiritual guide Dr. Abdul Hye (RA) told us that he always beseeched to Allah to divert the award of his non-obligatory prayers to his parents.

Syeda Aaisha (رضى الله عنها) states that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “While asleep I heard the Holy Quran being recited in Heavens; and on query I was told that Hurisa Bin Noman (رضى الله عنه) was reciting the Holy Quran in Heavens because he used to be extremely respectful & obedient to his mother in life”.

Note: What a blessing for those who respect & serve their mothers in life. Those whose mothers are alive ought to earn such great blessings of Allah by sincerely devoting themselves in service of their mothers (and fathers as well).

Anas (رضى الله عنه) reports the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), as saying: “Sometimes it so happens that after the parents die, their child who had been disobedient during their life-time and used to harass them; begins to pray for them and beseech forgiveness for them in appreciation of which Allah categorises him in the list of those who were obedient to their parents in life.

Note: A way out for those who had been disobedient & insolent to their parents, is to beseech to Allah for forgiveness of their departed parents. The Most Benevolent Allah may categorize such children in the list of obedient children.

As narrated by Abdullah Bin Umar (رضى الله عنه), the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “To abuse ones parents is an extremely grave sin.” The fellows of the Holy Prophet questioned, “How can an individual abuse him/her own parents?” The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) replied, “If a person abuses the parents of another person, he is responded in return with abuse to his parents by the other person.”

Note: What a chaste lesson given to Muslim in this Hadith! One must not only respect ones own parents but must also be polite & respectful to the parents of others as well to avoid retaliation of others against ones own parents.

It is on recorded on the authority of Ibn Abbas (رضى الله عنه), that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “Every time one who treats his parents handsomely, looks at them with compassion in his eyes, Allah writes for him the reward of an approved pilgrimage. (haj).”

The companions asked, “Even if one looks at one’s parents a hundred times in the day?” The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) answered, “Yes, Allah is the Greatest & Most pious. (None can stop Him from doing whatever He wishes to do).

Note: Allah is indeed Most Pious & Compassionate! This Hadith is worth being read & pondered again & again. What a reward for just glancing over the parents with love & regards! This noble jester repeated 100 times a day shall fetch the reward of 100 approved pilgrimage of the Holy Ka’aba. What a pity if still one may not realise to avail of the Most Gracious Allah’s infinite blessings.

Abu Hurayra (رضى الله عنه) has quoted the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), as saying “Three prayers are always heard: (i) a father’s prayer for his children; (ii) a traveller’s prayer; and (iii) the prayer of one who is wronged & victimised”.

Note: Mention is made of father only in this Hadith, while in other Ahadith mother is also mentioned – which means, parents invocation for their children are always accepted by Allah. One must therefore always remain humble & respectful to ones parents, and bow to them in order seek their blessings at all times.

It is recorded on the authority of the Syeda Ayesha (رضى الله عنها) that a young man accompanied by an elder called on the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) asked the young who the elder was. “He is my father,” the young man answered.

The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) advised him, “Always be considerate to your father and honour him. Do not walk ahead of him, nor sit before he sits down, nor address him by name nor abuse anyone because of him.”

Note: This solo Hadith could have been enough to make us realise that Most Gracious All-Mighty expects us to display extreme respect & regard for our parents. Just imagine how unwise are those who mistreat their parents not realising for the consequence they shall have to face for this ill-conduct.

Anas (رضى الله عنه) reports that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “He who desires that his life-span & wealth may increase, he should treat his parents magnificently and other relatives with benign compassion.”

Note: Being respectful & considerate to parents not only fetches Allah’s blessing in the world hereafter, but also earns augmentation of life & wealth in this world. Taking care of parents & spending for their health & welfare brings multifold dividends in this world & hereafter.

Ibn Omar (رضى الله عنه) relates that when a lean & thin man passed by near the congregation of Holy Prophets followers, someone remarked, “Ah, how good would it have been if only this man had grown lean because of striving in the path of Allah.”

The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) remarked, “It may be that the man had become weak and emaciated because of labouring to look after his aged parents, since that too is reckoned to have been in the path of Allah.

Note: If stands established from this Hadith that time & health consumed in service of parents is reckoned as an act in the way of Allah. Indeed extremely lucky are those who endeavour to provide comfort & ease to their parents.

Abdullah bin Omar (رضى الله عنه) reports: “A man presented himself before the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), saying that he had come to take an oath that he would migrate, and added that he had left his parents in tears because he was intending to depart from them. The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) told him to go back to them and make them smile just as he had left them in tears.

Note: Denial of permission for Hijrat for the sake of service & consolation of the parents ought to be ample eye-opener for those who do not care to look after their parents. Neglecting parents is invoking the wrath of All-Mighty Allah, which much be avoided in one’s own interest in this world & hereafter.

Ibn Omar (رضى الله عنه) relates that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “Your sleeping on the bed between your parents in such a way that you make them laugh with joy and they make you laugh is better than your struggle with a sword (Jihad) in Allah’s path.”

Note: This Hadith most beautifully states that it is for more desired to keep your parents pleased and happy than to go to Jihad in the way of Allah. Fortunate are those who spend their time with their parents and look after them.

Syed Aisha (رضى الله عنها) relates that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “An individual who just glances at the parents with rude looks has committed a misconduct with parents.”

Note: This Hadith cautious that even the slightest jester of rude behaviour with parents earns ill-will of Allah, and must therefore be avoided in ones own interest.

Abu Bakr (رضى الله عنه) has stated that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: “Allah forgives all sins except the sin of offending parents, and offending them is a sin that He punishes in this very world as well”.

Note: This Hadith cautions that if some one happens to be disobedient to one’s parents and misbehaves with them, he will not die unless he tastes the miseries & torture in this world. I have personally observed countless examples of such children who were disobedient of their parents and had to undergo unimaginable problems and miseries before their death. May Allah guide us to the right path.

Abdullah bin Amru (رضى الله عنه) has reported that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “He who publically talks about having done an obligation, and he who ill-treats his parents, and he who takes intoxicants habitually shall not enter Paradise.”

Note: What a pity on those who shall be deprived of entry into Paradise just because they had been disobedient to their parents & didn’t care for them in life.

Abu Hurayra (رضى الله عنه) tells us that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: “When a man dies all his deeds come to an end; but there are three deeds the benefits of which continue after him. (i) "sadqa-e-jariyah or perpetuating charity; (ii) knowledge from which people continue to benefit; and (iii) virtuous noble children who pray for them.”

Note: Noble off springs can continue to serve their parents in graves by invoking Allah for their forgiveness at all times of prayers.

Ibn Abbas (رضى الله عنه) narrates: “A man came to the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and said, “My mother has passed away. If I give any charity on her behalf, will it be of benefit to her?”

“Yes, it will benefit her”, the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) confirmed.

Note: This Holy Prophetic tradition establishes that if some one spends money in the way of Allah its Sawab certainly reaches his parents in the world hereafter and they benefit from it.

Hadhrat Ma’az Bin Ans (رضى الله عنه) repeats that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “Allah grants extension in the age of an individual who makes a good turn to his/her parents with love & regards”.

Note: A good & courteous conduct with parents earns extension in life-span of the noble off-springs. May Allah make us all realise the virtuous rewards for taking care of our parents with love & regards.

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Hadrat Ali (رضى الله عنه) stated that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “One who curses the parents, is himself cursed by Allah”.

Note: Misbehaving with parents and hurting their feelings by using abusive language earns curse of All-Mighty Allah for the unworthy individual himself.

Ibn Abbas (رضى الله عنه) stated that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), said, “He who passes the night in the condition of obedience to his parents has both the doors of paradise open to him; and if there be only one parent alive, and the son passes the night in obedience of him (or her), he has one door of paradise open to him in the morning.”

Note: The Holy Prophetic tradition vividly elaborates that the parents are like gates of Heavens, and whosoever keeps his parents happy with obedience, will enter the paradise easily. It is not a difficult job. May Allah give us understanding.

Abu Tufail (رضى الله عنه) reports: “I saw the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) distributing meat at a place in Jarrana when a woman came and made her way to the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) spread his own cloak-sheet for her to sit on. Seeing this I asked one near to me as to who the lady might be. I was told me that lady was the foster-mother who had nursed the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) when he was an infant.”

Note: The lady under reference was repeated by Haleema Sa’adia who had nursed the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) during his infancy; and therefore the tradition expects the foster mother to be treated with great respect.

Umro Bin Shoaib (رضى الله عنه) narrates from his grand father that a villager came to the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and said, “My father intends to finish the whole my wealth”. The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) replied, “You and your wealth belong to your father. Indeed the best & most sacred is the wealth that you earn yourself, and your children’s wealth is also your own labour and therefore you may also spend it as you wish”.[Masnd-e-Ahmad]

Note: This Hadith certifies that the wealth & property of the children really belong to their parents, and they have to right to utilise it as they may wish.

39. Imprecation of Jibraeel-e-Amin & endorsement by the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم)

Ka’ab Bin Ujra (رضى الله عنه) states that once the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) asked us all to come close to the rostum, and when we collected near the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) he told us that Jibraeel (AS) came to him, and he said, “May he perish who found both parents or one of them alive in old age, but could not earn Paradise for him; and I endosed the imprecation of Jibrail.

Note: Just imagin the gravity of the caution, when the supreme Chief the angles Jabrail-e-Amin prays for curse on those who may not be able to earn goodwill of their parents, and the best of the creation the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) endorses it. We must therefore protect ourselves from this curse by trying hard to serve our parents to the best of our capacity.

Anas (رضى الله عنه) stated that a man came to the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and said, “I should like to take part in Jihad but I don’t possess the ability to do so.”

Possibly the man might have been physically weak, or had some defective limb. The Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) asked him whether his parents were still living. The man said that his mother was alive.

“Then,” the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “Fear Allah in respect of your mother.” (That is, devote yourself to her service). When you do so, you will have performed the pilgrimages of Haj and Umra and also jihad; and when your mother calls you, fear Allah (by responding to her voice; do not disregard her), and let your treatment of her by very handsome.”

Note: The pilgrimage of Haj & Umra are the acts of jihad really call for a lot of self-sacrifices & money, while looking after the parents with love & regard is a simple noble conduct expected of obedient & respectful children; yet the two acts are reckoned equivalent in reward. This vividly elucidates the desirability of service to parents to earn the goodwill of All-Mighty Allah.

1. Parents are the pave-way to Paradise or Hell	2. Parents pleasure leads to Allah’s goodwill
3. Mother has precedence over father	4. The unlucky person
5. Service to parents has priority over optional Jihad	6. Paradise lies beneath the feet of mother
7. Respectful conduct for mother’s sister	8. Treatment with non-Muslim parents
9. Respectful & courteous treatment with father’s brother	10.Respect & regards for father’s friends
11.Extension of Life	12.Obedience of parents fetches obedient children
13.Disobedience of Parents is a grave sin	14. Service to parents earns the goodwill of Allah
15.Can one really fulfil the rights of parents?	16.Mother’s sister ought to be respected like real mother
17. Father is the Central Gateway to Paradise	18. Children’s invocation for their departed parents
19. Reward of service to mother	20. Disobedience to parents can be waved off
21. To abuse parents is a grievous sin	22. The reward of an approved pilgrimage
23. Three accepted prayers	24. Respect for father
25. Augmentation of Age & Income	26. Service to parents is a deed in the way of Allah
27. Service to parents has priority even over Hijrat	28. Reward of keeping parents happy
29. Even the slightest jester of rudeness to parents is condemnable	30. The consequences of disobedience to parents are faced in this world
31. Deprival of entry into Paradise	32. Prayers for forgiveness of the parents after their death
33. Charity by off-springs can benefit the dead parents	34. Longevity is granted for obedience to parents
35. Cause of Allah’s curse	36. Gates of Paradise open for those obedient to parents
37. Respect for foster mother	38. Children & their wealth belong to the parents
39. Imprecation of Jibraeel-e-Amin & endorsement by the Holy Prophet (صلى الله	40. Service to parents is no less than optional pilgrimage

23. Three accepted prayers

32. Prayers for forgiveness of the parents after their death

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