Allah Ta’ala
says:
“O People of Iman! Men should not mock at other men, for it may
be that they (those mocked at) are superior to them (the mockers) nor
should women mock at other women, for it may be that they (who are mocked
at) are superior to them (the mocking women).
O People of Iman! Refrain from abundance of suspicion, for verily, some
suspicions are sin nor should some of you scandal about others.”
(Quran)
Hadhrat Abdullah Ibn Mas’ood (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
To abuse a Muslim in an evil sin and to fight with a Muslim (unnecessarily)
is (close to) kufr.”
Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasullullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“When a man observing faults of others says (by way of complaint
and adopting a holier than thou attitude considering himself free of
fault): ‘People are corrupt’, then this person will soon
become the most corrupted (because he has despised the Believers).”
(Muslim)
Hadhrat Huzaifah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that he heard Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) say:
“A scandal-monger will not enter Jannat (without being punished).”
(Bukhari, Muslim)
Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“On the Day of Qiyaamah, the one in the vilest of conditions will
be a two-faced person. He says one thing (in favour) of one person and
then another thing (in regard to the same affair) to another person.”
(Bukhari)
Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“Do you know what is gheebat (scandalling):”
The Sahaabah said: ‘Allah and Hiz Rasool know best.’
Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) replied:
‘To speak about a brother (Muslim) such things which will displease
him if he comes to know of it.’
Someone asked: ‘What if what I say exists in the brother (in other
words, if what is said is the truth)”.
Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
‘If what you say is in him, then it is gheebat and if what you
say is not in him, then it is buhtaan (slander).” (Muslim)
Hadhrat Sufyaan Ibn As’ad Khadrami (radiallahu anhu) narrates
that he heard Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) say:
“Indeed, it is an act of the greatest abuse of trust if you tell
a Muslim brother something false while he believes that you are telling
him the truth.” (Abu Dawood)
Hadhrat Muaaz (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
Whoever taunts a brother (Muslim) with a sin (which the Muslim had committed),
will not die until he (the taunter) commits the same sin.” (Tirmizi)
Thus to speak sarcastically of the sins of others and to adopt a holier
than thou attitude will lead to such a person himself falling in the
sin. However, to speak to a sinner by way of admonishment and nasehat
is not in the scope of the warning sounded in the above hadith. Advice,
exhortation to do good and admonition are acts of virtue.
Hadhrat Waathilah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“Do not display pleasure at the plight (be it a worldly difficulty
or a Deeni condition) of a brother (Muslim), for it is quite possible
that Allah bestows His mercy on him and involves you in that plight
(which had overtaken the brother).” (Tirmizi)
Hadhrat Abdur Rahman Ibn Ghanam and Asma Bint Yazeed (radiallallhu anhuma)
narrate that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“The worst among the servants of Allah are those who gossip and
create rifts between friends.” (Ahmad, Baihaqi)
Hadhrat Ibn Abbaas (radiallallhu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“Do not unnecessarily dispute with a brother (Muslim, nor joke
with him in such a way which displeases him. Do not promise him something
which you cannot fulfil.” (Tirmizi)
However, failure to fulfill a promise on account of a valid reason is
excluded from the prohibition of the above hadith. In this regards Hadhrat
Zaid Bin Arqam (radiallallhu anhu) narrates that according to Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) one who has the intention of fulfilling
a promise but fails because of some real reason is not guilty of sin. (Abu Dawood, Tirmizi)
Hadhrat Eyaadh Mujaashai (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“Allah Ta’ala has revealed to me that all people sould inculcate
humility so much so that no one becomes proud over another and no one
commits oppression on another.” (Muslim)
Hadhrat Jareer Ibn Abdullah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“Allah is not merciful to a person who has no mercy on others.’
(Bukhari, Muslim)
Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“Endeavour to fulfill the needs of widows and orphans. He who
does so is equal (in thawaab) to one who strives in jihad.” (Bukhari, Muslim)
Hadhrat Sahl Bin Sa’ad (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“One who cares for an orphan, be the orphan related to him or
not, will be together with me in Jannat like this:) Saying so, Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) indicated with his fore finger & middle
finger separating both slightly).
Indeed the reward is tremendous. It is no small reward to be a neighbour
of Rasulullah (sallallaho alayhi wasallam) in Jannat. The reason for
slightly separating the two fingers and not placing them together is
that after all, there will be a difference. A non-Nabi can never be
on par with a Nabi. (Bukhari)
Nu’maan Bin Basheer (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“You will observe Muslims as one body in regard to mutual love
and affinity. When one part pains, the entire body is affected. (Bukhari,
Muslim)
Hadhrat Abu Musa (radiallau anhu) narrates that whenever someone came
to Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) with a need, Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) with a need, Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)
would advice the Sahaabah to intercede on behalf of the one in need
so that they who intercede may participate in the thawaab. Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) would say:
“Whatever Allah decides will be commanded on the tongue of His
Rasool.”
Whatever Allah Ta’ala wishes the needy to obtain, he will get
it but the intercessor too will obtain his share of thawaab so easily.
Interceding on behalf of another should be only when the one who is
being petitioned is not displeased by the intercession as was the case
with Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) who himself exhorted the
Sahaabah to intercede on behalf of the one in need. (Bukhari,
Muslim)
Hadhrat Anas (radialahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi
wasallam) said:
“Assist your brother (Muslim) whether he be the oppressor of the
oppressed.
Someone asked: ‘How is he to be aided in committing oppression?’
Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) replaied:
‘Restraining him from committing oppression is to aid him.”
(Bukhari, Muslim)
Hadhrat Ibn Umar (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“A Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He does not oppress
him nor does he desert him in need and difficulty. He who remains in
the service of his brother (Muslim), Allah remains in his (the one who
aids) service. He who removes a hardship from a Muslim, Allah will remove
from him a difficulty of the hardships of Qiyaamah. He who conceals
the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults on the Day of
Qiyaamah. (Bukhari, Muslim)
Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
:Despising a Muslim is a sufficient evil in a man.” (Muslim)
Even if a man has no other evils in him besides this one evil of holding
other Muslims in contempt, he has been overwhelmed by evil and corruption,
for this one evil is sufficient to utterly destroy him.
“All things of a Muslim are sacred and to be honoured by other
Muslims. His life, property and honour must be respected.” (Muslim)
It is not lawful for a Muslim to hurt, harm or inconvenience another
Muslim. His life, property and dignity have to be honoured. His faults
should be concealed and he must not be slandered. In short, he must
be protected and honoured.
Hadhrat Anas (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“I swear by The Being in Whose possession is my life that a man
is not a perfect Muslim unless he loves for a brother (Muslim) what
he loves for himself.” (Bukhari,
Muslim)
Hadhrat Anas (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“One from whose mischief a neighbour is not safe, will not enter
Jannat.” (Muslim)
The neighbour remains in a state of fear as a result of one’s
mischief. Such an evil person will not enter Jannat before being sentenced
to punishment in Jahannum.
Hadhrat Ibn Abbas (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“He is not of us who does not have mercy on our little ones nor
has respect for our aged ones. And (he is not of us) who does not forbid
evil.” (Tirmizi)
It is among the duties of a Believer to be kind to juniors, respect
seniors and call to virtue and forbid evil. However, when discharging
this duty of admonition, one should be kind, have respect for others
and act honourably. One should not adopt harshness and a holier than
thou attitude.
Hadhrat Anas (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“Whoever defends a brother (Muslim) who is being reviled, Allah
will defend him and aid him in this world and the Aakhirah.
Whoever refrains from defending a Muslim who is being reviled while
having the ability to defend, Allah will apprehend him in this world
and the Aakhirah. (Sharhus Sunnah)
Hadhrat Uqbah Bin Aamir (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“Whoever observes a fault of another and conceals that fault (not
advertising it), is (in thawaab) like one who has saved the life of
a girl who was being buried alive.” (Ahmad,
Tirmizi)
Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“Every man is a mirror to his brother (Muslim)” (Tirmizi)
Thus, When a Muslim sees a fault or an evil in another Muslim, he should
act as his mirror and make known to him his fault without disgracing
him, without revealing to others what he has seen just as a mirror while
revealing to the viewer the faults in his appearance does not publicize
to others such faults.
Hadhrat Aishah (radiallahu anha) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“Maintain people on their ranks.” (Abu
Dawood)
It is a teaching of the Deen that everyone should be treated in terms
of his/her rank. Due regard has to be accorded to the position of a
person everyone cannot be driven with the same whip.
Hadhrat Ibn Abbaas (radiallahu anhu) narrates that he heard Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) saying:
“He is not a perfect Muslim who eats while his neighbour remains
hungry.” (Baihaqi)
Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“ A Mu’min (believer) is the repository of love. There is
no goodness in a man who does not have love for anyone nor does anyone
love him.” (Ahmad,
Baihaqi)
Hadhrat Anas (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah ( sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“He who fulfills a need of a person in order to give him pleasure,
has given me pleasure; whoever has given me pleasure has given Allah
pleasure; whoever has given pleasure to Allah, He will give him Jannat.”
(Baihaqi)
Hadhrat Anas (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“Seventy three acts of pardon (Maghfirat) are recorded for a person
who aids a man in difficulty. Of these (seventy three pardons) one is
sufficient for the rectification of all his affairs. The other seventy
two will serve as means for the acquisition of lofty stages in the Aakhirah.
(Baihaqi)
Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“Whenever a Muslim visits a sick brother (Muslim) or merely goes
to meet a brother, then Allah says: ‘You are holy; your walking
is holy; you have arranged your abode in Jannat.” (Tirmizi)
Hadhrat Abu Ayyaub Ansaari (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“It is not lawful for a Muslim to severe his ties with another
Muslim for more than three days, in such a way that when they meet,
the one turns his face one way and the other turns his face the other
way. The better of these two is the one who makes Salaam first. (Bukhari,
Muslim)
Severence of ties referred to in this hadith means the breaking off
relationship because of enmity and worldly reasons. This hadith does
not refer to the adoption of solitude and dissociation with the general
public. Such solitude is for the sake of the development of the rooh
(spiritual development) and is in fact, instructed by the Deen.
Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“Refrain from suspicions. The worst of lies is suspicion (thinking
ill of others on mere supposition). Do not pry into the private affairs
of others. Do not bid a higher price (for any object of sale) with the
intention to deceive (and not to buy). Do not have jealousy for one
another nor entertain malice for each other. Do not scandal (gheebat).
Fear Allah! All servants (of Allah) should live like brothers.”
(Bukhari,
Muslim)
Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“A Muslim owes six rights to another Muslim.
“Someone asked: ‘O Rasulullah! What are they?’ Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
‘When meeting him, say Salaam to him, when he invites you, accept
his invitation, when he seeks aids from you, aid him, when he sneezes
and says, ‘Alhamdulillah, then say: ‘Yarhamukallah’:
when he is sick, visit him; and, when he dies, accompany his janaazah.”
(Muslim)
The rights, which Muslims enjoy over Muslims, are not restricted to
six. However, on this particular occasion, Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi
wasallam) mentioned six. In other ahadith and Quraanic verses, more
rights and duties are mentioned.
Hadhrat Abu Bakr Siddique (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“A man who harms any Muslim and deceives him is accursed.”
(Tirmizi)
The rights, duties and attitudes mentioned in all the aforegoing ahadith
pertain to the general body of Muslims. Such rights are applicable in
abundance. Beside these general rights there are also special rights
applicable in particular occasions and circumstances. The special and
particular rights have been dealt with in our book, Huqooqul Islam.
In these days, there is great negligence and indifference in regard
to the discharge of the rights and the execution of duties. It is therefore
essential to be diligent in the fulfillment of these rights and duties.
May Allha Ta’ala grant us the taufeeq?
Necessary
explanation regarding rights
The Huqooq (Rights)
explained in this Rooh Nine are applicable to all Muslims in general.
However, it is obvious that the importance and significance of huqooq
will increase if these are related to special people. In regard to Rights,
Parents enjoy priority and greater significance because of their close
relationship with their offspring. The huqooq of parents are unanimously
accepted. There is therefore no need to elaborate on the details of
these Rights. However, some explanations regarding certain aspects,
which are not generally known, seems to be necessary. These aspects
have been explained in a separate treatise, known as Ta’deel Huqooqil
Waalidain (The Equilibrium of the Rights of Parents) This treatise is
included here as an appendix to Rooh Nine.
Tadeel-e-huqooqil
waalidain (The
equilibrium of the rights of parents)
Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’aan Majeed:
“Verily, Allah commands you to fulfill Trusts to their rightful
ones, (and Allah commands you) to decide with justice when you decide
among people.”
Two commands are understood from the general meaning of this gracious
aayat, viz.,
1. It is incumbent to discharge the Waajib (obligatory) rights of people.
2. It is not lawful to destroy or fail in discharging the rights of
one person for the sake of the rights of another person.
This article proposes to discuss two specific cases which relate to
the two above general rules enunciated by the aforementioned Qur’aanic
verse. The two cases mentioned are:
a) The fixation of the Waajib (compulsory) and Ghair Waajib (nonobligatory)
rights of parents.
b) The equilibrium (balance or just attitude and action) to be adopted
in the event of a conflict between the rights of parents and wife or
parents and one’s children
Some unscrupulous persons and experience has shown that there are numerous
such persons are so extreme in neglecting the huqooq of parents that
they totally ignore the Shariah’s commands pertaining to the compulsion
of obedience to parents. As a consequence of their total indifference
n this regard they invoke the greatest of calamities and misfortunes
on them. On the other hand, some pious people adopt the other extreme
whereby their obedience to their parents is of such a degree which occasions
the destruction of the rights of others, e.g. the rights of their wives
and children This set of extremists are again indifferent to the commands
which decree obligatory the rights of parents and children. Thus, they
too, lie the former set of persons, invite calamity and misfortune on
themselves.
Besides the two sets of people mentioned above, there is a third set.
These people do not destroy or fail in the discharge of the huqooq of
people. They fulfill these rights and adequately discharge their duties
and obligation. But, they understand some non-incumbent duties to be
obligatory. Believing optional duties to be compulsory, they set about
fulfilling these with this attidude. Sometimes, due to adverse circumstances
or some other factors, they are unable to remain steadfast in the discharge
of such duties. They find it difficult and unbearable. As a result frustration
sets in and their minds are afflicted with a host of divisive thoughts.
They start to believe that the Shariah has imposed unbearable burdens
on man and in this way they ruin their Deen. In this way, this group
also is guilty of trampling on the huqooq of someone, and that someone
is one’s own Nafs which also has rights over one. Speaking on
the obligatory rights of the Nafs, Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)
said:
“Verily, your nafs has rights over you.”
Among these Huqooq Waajibah (Obligatory Rights), protection of one’s
Deen has priority. The fulfillment of non-obligatory rights of parents
with the attitude described above, sometimes leads towards sin (which
has been mentioned above). If after the laws have been correctly understood,
one sets about fulfilling rights which are not obligatory, the evil
mentioned above will not occur; frustration will not overtake one and
one will not then attribute one’s failure to adhere to this self
imposed task as an injustice and unbearable burden imposed on man by
Deen. It will be realized that the difficulty was of one’s failure
to adhere to this self imposed tasks as an injustice and unbearable
burden imposed on man by Deen. It will be realized that the difficulty
was of one’s own making. Furthermore, after having correctly understood
the non-obligatory nature of certain rights one will derive pleasure
from one’s steadfastness in executing these. In short, there is
great, wisdom in having knowledge of the Ahkaam (laws of the Shariah).
On the the contrary, there is nothing but harm in ignorance.
The essential narrations of hadith and Fiqh pertaining to this subject
will now be enumerated and thereafter the rules extracted from these
narrations will be explained.
“Allah is the one from whom aid is sought, and on Him is my trust.
The
Narrations
1. Ibn Umar (radiallahu anhu) narrates:
“I had a wife whom I loved while Umar (his father) disliked her.
He (Hadhrat Umar, the father) ordered me: ‘Divorce her.’
But, I refused. Umar (radiallahu anhu) then went to Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) and mentioned this (my refusal) to him. Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) then said to me: ‘Divorce her.”
He (Ibn Umar) then divorced her. (Tirmiz-extracted from Mishkaat)
In Mirkaat (which is the commentary on Mishkaat) it is explained that
this order given by Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) is ‘Amr-e-Istihbaab’
or an order, the execution of which is not compulsory although it is
preferable. This type of order falls in the Mustahab (preferable and
meritorious) category of laws. If the order was intended as an obligatory
(Wujoob) command then there must have been some factor for this commands.
Imaam Ghazaali (radiallahu anhu) says in Ihyaaul Uloom that this hadith
indicates that the right of the father has priority over the right of
the wife. But, for the prevalence of this priority it is essential that
the father is not motivated by a corrupt motive. The rectitude of the
motive of a man like Hadhrat Umar (radiallahu anhu) is a self-evident
fact.
2. In a hadith narrated by ‘Hadhrat Muaaz (radiallahu anhu) Rasulullah
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“Never disobey your parents even if they order you to disassociate
yourselves from your wife, children and wealth.”
(Mishkaat)
In Mirkaat it is explained that this hadith merely emphasizes perfect
obedience and the significance of obedience to parents. It does not
have a literal meaning. In actual fact, it is not incumbent upon the
son to divorce his wife even if his refusal to divorce her causes great
displeasure to his parents. In divorcing her, he will be afflicted with
great harm. It is indeed remote that parents will derive pleasure from
the difficulty and misery of their son. Thus, he is not required to
divorce his wife at their insistence.
The author of Mirkaat says that the indication in the hadith to prove
that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said this as emphasis is
the statement:
“Do not commit shirk with Allah even if you are slaughtered or
burnt.”
Undoubtedly, this statement is for the purpose of emphasis. The Qur’aanic
aayat: “except he who is compelled (to utter kufr, for then there
is no blame on him)” clearly grants permission to proclaim a statement
of kufr under duress and compulsion. Hence, the above hadith is for
emphasis.
It the statement: “Do not commit shirk even if you are killed
or burnt.” Was for compulsion it would have negated the permission
announced by the Qur’aan (aayat mentioned above) to utter kufr
under compulsion while of course, Imaan is not rejected by the heart.
This proves that the hadith mentioned by Hadhrat Muaaz (radiallahu anhu)
serves the purpose of emphasizing obedience to parents.
3. Hadhrat Ibn Abbas (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam) said:
“He who obeys Allah is regard to obedience to his parents, will
have opened on him two doors of Jannat if both parents exist, and one
door if one parent exists. If he disobeys them, then two doors of Jahannum
will be opened on him if both (parents) exist, and one door if one parent
exists.”
In the same hadith it is mentioned that a man said:
Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) replied:
“Even if they are unjust; to him (to the son)?”
Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) replied:
“Even if they are unjust; even if they are unjust; even if they
are unjust. (
Baihaqi)
Commenting on this hadith, the author of Mirkaat says that in regard
to the discharge of the Huqooq of parents, the son obeys Allah Ta’ala.
He fulfills the rights of the parents in the manner in which Allah Ta’ala
has commanded. Fulfillment of the right of parents is not an act of
ibadat entirely independent in nature. It is in-fact; duty rendered
for the sake of Allah Ta’ala Who has ordered its observance with
particular care and emphasis. Obedience to parents has therefore to
be discharged on the basis of it being obedience to Allah Ta’ala.
Thus, whatever they command, if it be in accordance with the Law of
Allah, it will be accepted and done. If they command any violation of
the Law of Allah Ta’ala, it will not be accepted. In this regard
the hadith narration is:
“There is no obedience for creation in any obedience which countenances
disobedience to Allah.”
The meaning of “injustice of parents” mentioned in the hadith
refers to worldly matters and not to affairs of the Aakhirah. Even if
they are unjust and unkind in worldly matters, children should be kind
to them; respect them and fulfill their rights. Their injustice does
not permit children, to fail in the execution of their lawful demands
and rights. But, discharge of Rights is not to be understood to mean
obedience to even their unlawful orders and requests.
The hadith mentioning “injustice of parents” is similar
in meaning to the hadith which orders Zakaat-payers to please the Zakaat-collectors
even if the latter are unjust to them. In the Kitaab, Lam’aat,
it is also stated that this is for emphasis and not to be taken literally.
4. In Mishkaat is a lengthy hadith of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi
wasallam). In this hadith three people are mentioned. They were on a
journey when they were caught up in heavy rain. They took refuge in
cave. A huge boulder rooled and blocked the cave-entrance, cutting off
their escape from the cave. The three decided to supplicate of Allah
Ta’ala on the basis of some deeds which they had done with the
greatest of sincerity. The deed which one of the three offered to Allah
Ta’ala as his basis of supplication was about his aged parents
and little children. He implored Allah Ta’ala in the following
way:
“O Allah! I was man who grazed goats. During the evenings when
I returned home I would first give of the goats’ milk to my parents.
Only then would I serve milk to my children. One day, I had gone very
far and when I returned I found my parents sleeping. I did not consider
it good to wake them, hence I stood near to them with the bowl of milk
in my hand. I considered it bad to allow my children to drink before
I had given milk to my parents. The children were crying about my feet.
I stood until it became morning.”
Commenting on this Hadith, the author of Mirkaat says that this hadith
in meaning is similar to the incident of Abu Talhah (radiallahu anhu)
and his guests mentioned in the hadith. When guests arrived, he asked
his wife if there was any food. She replied that the only food present
was the food of the children. He asked her to put the children to sleep
so that the food could be served to the guests. In Lam’aat it
is explained that the children, (mentioned in the hadith about the milk)
were not hungry, but were crying as is the habit of children, to demand
delicacies. If the children were hungry, it would have been incumbent
(Waajib) to have fed them. It is not conceivable that a Sahaabi of the
rank of Abu Talhah neglected an obligatory act for the sake of a non-obligatory
duty. Allah Ta’ala, Himself has lauded praise on Abu Talhah and
his wife.
In Durrul Mukhtaar it is clearly stated that the right of one’s
little children has priority over the right of one’s parents.
In Durrual Mukhtar it is said:
“A man has living both his father and little son. The right of
the child has priority over the right of the father in regard to expenditure.
Some have said that he should spend equally on both.
5. In Kitaabul Aathaar, Imam Muhammad (radiallahu anhu) narrates that
Hadhrat Aishah (radiallahu anhu) said:
“The noblest of what you eat is of your earnings, and your children
(i.e. their evenings) are among your earnings.”
On the basis of this hadith, Imam Muhammad (rahmatullah alayhi) said
that a father may eat from the earnings of this son if he (father) is
in need provided that he does not waste. If the father is wealthy and
takes from the property of the son anything, he (the father) will be
indebted to the son. This is also the view of Imam Abu Hanifah (rahmatullah
alayh). Imam Muhammad (rahmatullah alayh) narrates that Imamm Abu Hanifah
(rahmatullah alayhi) said:
“Hammaad (rahmatullah alayh) narrates from Ibraheem (rahmatullah
alayh) that the father has no right in the wealth of his son other than
food and clothing if he (the father) is in need.”
Commenting on this statement, Imaam Muhammad (rahmatullah alayh) said:
“This is the opinion to which we adhere.”
6. Haakim and others narrate:
“Verily, your children are gifts from Allah unto you; He bestows
female children to whomever He pleases and he grants male children to
whomever He pleases. Their wealth is for you (parents) if you are in
need.” (Kanzul
Ummaal)
This hadith, in fact, indicate the law propounded by Imaam Muhammad
that the father has a right in the wealth of his children only in times
of need and to the extent of need. The statement of Rasulullah (sallallahu
alayhi wasallam), viz., “when you are in need,” calarifies
this. Then if the father takes from the son’s wealth unnecessarily,
the amount taken will be a debt on the father. Hadhrat Abu Bakr Siddique
(radiallahu anhu) also explained in the same way the following hadith
on Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam):
“You and your wealth belong to your father.”
Hadhrat Abu Bakr (radiallahu anhu) stated that this refers to necessary
expenditure for the parents when they are in need. (Baihaqi)
7. The following is recorded in Durrul Mukhtaar:
“Jihaad is not Fardh on such under-age and baaligh child (one
who has attained the age of puberty) whose both parents or one parent
are/is alive because service to them is Fardh Ain nor is it permissible
for such children to go on a journey in which there is danger except
if they (parents) give their consent. If there is no danger in the journey,
they may go without permission. Among such journies is the journey in
quest for knowledge.
In Raddaul Mukhtaar it is said:“Parents have the right to prevent
their children from going on such journies (which are dangerous) when
they will suffer great hardship by their children’s departure
on such journies. This same rule is applicable even if parents happen
to be kaafir. However, if the kaafir parents prevent their (Muslim)
children from the Jihaad which is being waged against their (The parents)
co-religionists, Then the children shall not obey their parent. But,
if they (parents) are poor and dependent on their children, then they
(children) will have to remain and serve their parents, even if they
are kaafir. Fardh Ain will not be sacrificed for the sake of Fardh Kifaayah
(Jihaad is Fardh Kifaayah and serving partents is Fardh Ain).
Dangerous journies are those pertaining to Jihaad and sea voyages. If
there is no danger in the journey then it is permissible to depart on
the journey without (their) permission excepting when great hardship
will decend on them if the children depart. If there is no danger in
the journey then one may go on journey for trade, Hajj and Umrah even
without their permission. Similarly, the permission will apply to a
greater extent for a journey in pursuit of Knowledge (of the Deen).”
Similar rulings are recorded in Bahrur Raaiq and Fataawa Hindiyah. In
one place in Fataawa Hindiyayah it is stated:
“It is necessary to obtain the consent of the parents, if the
work (for which the journey is being undertaken) is not necessary.”
8. In Durrul Mukhtaar, the following is recorded in the chapter dealing
with maintenance:
“It is Waajib (upon the husband) to give his wife such a house
in which none of his relatives nor any of her relatives reside.
Raddul Mukhtaar, after narrating various versions in this regard, states:
“It is Waajib to provide a moderate house for a wealthy and honourable
wife.”
In our cities in the land of Shaam, even the middle class people do
not live in houses in which strangers live. This applies to a greater
degree with people of the upper class. However, an exception is where
a house has been inherited by several brothers who have subdivided the
house, each one living (separately) in his own section, but the rights
and duties of the building being common to them all.
“Times and circumstances continuously change. The Mufti should
take into consideration the changing circumstances and decree accordingly,
for without it, a healthy social life is not possible.”
From the aforegoing narrations, several masaa-il (rules)are manifest.
These are enumerated hereunder.
1. It is not lawful to obey parents if they order their children to
discard an act or duty which is obligatory on them (children) according
to the Shariah. Obedience in such cases of conflict is not at all permissible,
leave along the idea of obedience to them being incumbent in these cases
where their orders violate the Shariah. The following cases come within
the ambit of this rule:
Then man’s financial condition is such that if he provides assistance
to his parents from his money, his wife and children will be reduced
to misery. His income is not sufficient to provide for his parents as
well as his family. In this case it is not permissible for the man to
impose hardship on his wife and children by spending on his parents.
(This should not be misunderstood. The application of this rule is in
relation to necessities and not luxuries. If after providing for the
basic necessities of the wife and children, the man is able to spend
on the necessary requirements of his parents, then it is incumbent on
him to do so – Translator)
It is a right of the wife that she demands (if she so wishes) to live
apart from the parents and relatives of the husband. Thus, should the
wife invoke this right and the parents insist that they (their son and
daughter-in-Law) live together with them (parents), it will not be permissible
for the husband to accede to the demand of the parents in this case.
It is Waajib in this case of conflicting demands to give to the wife
a separate place of residence.
If parents prevent their children from setting out for Umrah. Hajj and
the acquisition of necessary Ilm (that amount of Deeni knowledge which
is Fardh on one), then it is not permissible to obey their wishes.
2. It is not permissible to obey parents in anything, which is unlawful
in the Shariah, e.g. they order that the children take up such employment
which is not lawful in Islam or they wish their children to participate
in unlawful functions, gatherings, customs and bid’ah.
3. The rule pertaining to such acts which are Mubaah (permissible);
acts which are neither obligatory nor prohibited. If parents command
their children to render or to abstain form permissible acts, then the
circumstances will have to be taken into consideration. If one is dependent
on something and refraining there from will mean hardship, then obeying
one’s parents who refuse permission, will not be incumbent. One
is then allowed to embark on the task.
Example: A poor man who is unable to find employment locally decides
to travel elsewhere for seeking his living, but his parents refuse permission
for him to go. In this case it is not obligatory to obey the wishes
of the parents.
However, if the intended work (i.e. which is permissible) is not essential
and one is not dependent on it or there is great danger involved in
doing it or due to the son’s absence the parents will be put to
hardship because of no suitable arrangements being possible for their
care, then it is not permissible to oppose the wishes of the parents,
e.g. participation in a non-obligatory war, or a sea voyage or departing
without being able to make arrangements for the care of the parents.
In this case, the journey being not essential, it is obligatory to obey
the parents. On the contrary, if there is o danger in the journey nor
will the son’s departure bring about hardship upon his parents
since adequate arrangements exist, then it will be permissible to participate
in that work or journey even if parents oppose. Although, it is permissible,
nevertheless, it will still be Mustahab to respec their wishes in this
case too. The following examples will come within the scope of this
rule.
Parents wish their son to divorce his wife without having any real grounds.
It is not Waajib in this case to obey the parents. The hadith in regard
to Hadhrat Ibn Umar (radiallahu anhu) who divorced his wife on the orders
of his father, Hadhrat Umar Ibn Khattaab (radiallahu anhu) has already
been explained earlier.
If parents order that the son hand over his entire earnings to them,
it is not Waajib for him to obey their whishes in this regard. Should
parents compel their children to hand over their (children;s) earnings
they (parents) will be sinful. The hadith stating that ‘You and
your wealth belong to your father’, applies to times of need as
has been explained earlier. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)
said:
“The wealth of a man is not lawful (to others) but with the wholehearted
consent of the owner (of the wealth).”
Should the father take from the son’s wealth more than his basic
requirements, it will be debt on him (father). Such debt can be claimed
from the father. If he refuses to pay here, he will have to pay in the
Hereafter. The clear statements of the Fuqaha suffice to prove this.
The Fuqahaa were fully qualified and competent to understand the meanings
of the ahadith. And Allah knows best.